How I Escaped The Matrix, And How You Can Too

“I’m here to challenge you, not to entertain. Speak as a dying man to dying men.”

– Robert Fergusson

My Story Started Out Just Like Yours

Australia, July 1995. A little brother enters into the world, he’s the youngest of four. He grows up middle-class attending a suburban public school. His parents are teachers.

I consider myself lucky in many ways, and for the most part – feel like I won the lottery in life. That being said, I’ve lived a fairly ordinary life.

In the movie “The Incredibles” there’s this iconic moment where Helen says to Dash “everyone’s special…” and Dash mutters in response “Which is another way of saying no one is.”

I love that because on the one-hand we are all unique, and at the same time we are just like everyone else.

It’s quite ironic to hear people talking about “them”. This idea of ‘the masses’ or the ‘sheeple’ that are the cause of all the problems in society. We can whinge and develop such a negative view of the general population. Yet we ignore that we are part of that same group.

Bias Blind Spot: The tendency to recognize the impact of biases on the judgment of others, while failing to see the impact of biases on one’s own judgment. People believe they are less biased than others but fail to see their own biases in action.

The harsh truth is we are all just the same, most of our differences are superficial at best. To live and be genuinely different is a lot harder than you might think. And yet being different is what an aspirational life requires of us.

If you want abnormal results and outcomes in your life, you must think and act abnormal.

 

What You Thought You Wanted

“You’ve already achieved goals you said would make you happy.”
– Alex Hormozi

As kids we’re all asked the same question:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

For many, if not most of us, we spend our life trying to answer that question.

We enrol in a course, get the job, move to the place, do the thing, and yet we never really arrive. Often we seek a mentor, or some guidance, but it never quite fits.

I always struggled with that question, and in reality, it’s because I wasn’t aware of all that is out there. Plus, it’s a new world now. The internet revolution, social media, now A.I. …the game has changed and rules are different. We are not living in our parents or grandparents world. A lot has changed, and it’s never going back to the way it was.

In the Western World our general programming is like this:

• Go to school and obey
• Pick a career, ideally safe, stable and highly paid with status recognition
• Study hard and be disciplined
• Get a job
• Climb the ladder
• Consume, Consume, Consume
• Save for a home
• Send your kids to school, tell them to obey
• Save for retirement
• Encourage everyone else to follow that same path
• Die

Now obviously that’s an abbreviated and generalised list – but you get the picture…

Summer 2012. I was sitting in Year 12 English Literature class and I drew a sketch that looked something like this:

This is what I considered to be the “Default Life Path” we were all being pushed toward at school. Pedestalise university and anything less than that and you were destined to be a peasant. Which is a gross perspective, yet kind of true, and yet also doesn’t go far enough. The truth is those that went to university also ended up as peasants.

We now live in a world, at least in Australia, where the cost of housing is rising exponentially relative to wages. The middle class is being eroded, and eventually the housing markets will cap out. Before then though, there will be a much direr reality. Society will fracture even more so into the HAVEs and the HAVE NOTs. Reminiscent of a feudal system which has been the structure of human society for most of history.

The “Default Life Path” is in fact a step up from the peasantry of the past. With the key distinctions being that in the past there was less consumerism, less education, more death and no retirement.

It’s gross, sad and depressing. Misery shouldn’t be all there is. And if I’m perfectly honest, it almost makes me want to tap out all together…

So that’s choice (1) the “Default Life Path”. And before I receive too much hate – if you and many others are happy living that way – good for you. If peasantry is a palatable reality for you then you must know something I don’t. If you can work a monotonous job, achieve the outcomes of the average, save for retirement and call it a day. I envy you.

The problem is, and I realised it back in 2012, is that’s not enough for me. My aspiration won’t allow me to settle for it. I’ve tried working jobs and within 12 months back on the “Default Life Path” I find myself miserable again.

People talk about depression as a mental illness, I’m inclined to say it is a healthy sign something is wrong. Depression is your body and mind telling you that you are living wrong. Or if your depression is less existential in nature, then its a sign you need a new perspective. We can’t change the past.

Some people take pills to remedy this pain and spin a narrative in their mind to numb or mask the hurt. Yet they never deal with the root issue: if you are living a despressing life – you should feel depressed. That’s normal.

I’ve been there:

• out of alignment,
• had my priorities out of whack,
• hooked on dopamine addictions and escapisms,
• spiralling further and further down into the pit of despair.

I find it interesting that the number one cause of death for young men right now is themselves. Right now the greatest risk to my life is me. That’s not abstract, that’s very literal.

“Despite all the support Kai got from his family and friends, he didn’t always receive positive results when he tried to open up with other guys and mates about depression. The stigma needs to go.”
She repeated the appalling statistics “that suicide is the single biggest killer of men aged under 45. It claims the lives of 12 men every day”.
– The West (here’s the full article)

It think this phenomina has occured because of our dysfunctional societal programming. The “Default Life Path” is just one of those many things. We are implicitly taught to stress anxiously over things that don’t matter, while ignoring the things that do. Then we tell everyone to spread awareness and focus on mindfulness.

If you look at almost anyone noteworthy in history. None of them followed the “Default Life Path”, they followed the “Extraordinary Life Path”.

Examples:

• Yeshua of Nazareth (aka Jesus Christ)
• Muhammed
• Budha
• Ghandi
• Mother Teresa
• Joan of Arc
• Alexander The Great
• Adolf Hitler
• Martin Luther King Jr
• Nikola Tesla

Which is why I propose the alternative, choice (2) the “Extraordinary Life Path”. As exemplified by the most influential human ever to have lived: Yeshua of Nazareth.

He lived until 33. For the most part he lived an ordinary life, much like yours, much like mine. He worked jobs, had siblings and lived in the peasant class. At around 30 he started his ministry and then changed history in 3 and a half years. The single most influential human of all time achieved his life’s work in 3 and a half years and died brutally. He taught how to have joy independent to any life circumstance. He certainly didn’t advocate for the “Default Life Path” as the definition of a life well lived.

What is regret?

Regrets are irrecoverable moments.

• What is a life well lived?
• What are you trading your life for?
• Why are you trading your life for that?
• What is meaningful?

All questions worth asking and reflecting on. And if I was to have at a guess at your answers, I would say…

 

Turns Out, That’s What You Were Taught To Want

Deep down most of us are aware that our thoughts are not our own.

Social programming, familiarity, and conformity dictates most of our actions and thought life. To go against the grain or delve too far down a mental rabbit hole is to open a can of worms.

We absolve ourselves of short-term pain by not asking life’s fundamental questions. The reason why we don’t address them is because the weight of the regret would be unbearable.

Courage is not the absence of fear, rather it’s acting in spite of it.

Courage produces confidence, boldness and genuine deep-seated peace. It also means opening the can of worms, and delving into the dark. You know you won’t like what you find, but that’s exactly why you must do it.

Imagine a life of purpose, nuanced perspective, love and truth. Joy in spite of pain and suffering, independent of circumstance.

Imagine a life marked by adding value to others and making a better world.

Conform, close the door on your mind, stay in Neverland… and you’ll never know or see what BETTER actually is.

A post-modern world that believes in relative truth and morality. That sells a “Default Life Path” that leads to young men killing themselves. A negative birth rate. A high divorce rate. Unaffordable housing. Obesity and eating disorders. Mental health afflictions and medications in perpetuity.

If that is what you advocate for, if that is your compass …then you are lost, and part of the problem.

Most People Want Out

We all know this. I can see it now, a train full of people commuting home from the city during peak hour, emotionless and mindlessly death scrolling on their phones.

Whether ignorance, elective naivety or victims of circumstance, the masses (which doesn’t necessarily exclude you or I …to be clear) are caught in a loop of hopelessness and despair. Either that or they lower the bar of their expectations and drink a cool-aid of cope.

Once you are aware that your circumstances and your interpretation of them are in fact a choice, then you must decide:

Address the truth and make the change, alternatively wear the mask long enough and lose yourself completely.

Most People Are Stuck

I’m not trying to be jerk, although I don’t want to sugar coat things either.

Breaking free from the matrix is not “ditching the 9-5”. It can look like that – the entrepreneurial leap may be a key element of it. It has been for me. I also don’t see myself as above ever working a job again.

If it is a means to an ends – or what truth, purpose, responsibility and a meaningful life demands of me – then I’ll do it.

The more important questions to ask are:

• What is your intention?
• What is your end game?
• Do you have aspirations?
• Do you have a plan and process for achieving them?

Destination goals are no where near as important as process or action-oriented goals. Actions are within your control, actions are inputs that lead to outcomes. Outcomes MAY lead to destinations.

Fixating on destinations will leave you disappointed and depressed.

If you can find contentment in your intention, vision and actions – then you can have peace. If you live misaligned or deluded, that’s where the mental illness creeps in.

Sometimes it’s not your fault

If you’re life looks like the “Default Life Path” that’s not an inherently a bad thing, for now. If you have a family or responsibilities that require your life to look a certain way, that is understandable and respectable.

If you do not aspire to more, or to change your circumstance – there in lies the problem.

Without ambition you have no hope. The pull of what is convenient and the cheap dopamine that sedates you will always win.

If you are serious about escaping the matrix, waking up to reality, uncovering truth and effecting change in your life… here’s where you should start:

Focus on “not filling the vacuum”

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”
– John Maxwell

You need to start getting uncomfortable to overcome the inertia that is the status quo in your life. That means not seeking to fill the void with escapisms and distractions.

A dopamine detox is a great start: begin by identifying all the unhealthy habits, people and activities in your life. Then start addressing them, cut them off, dial them back and create boundaries.

This will free your mind, help you build self-esteem, and give you the capacity to start aspiring for more.

It’s so easy for your ambition to get snuffed out by cheap sedations, incessant busyness, overwhelm, low self-esteem and self-loathing.

Deal with those things first …have room to breathe.

Say “NO” to create more time

You can’t have it all, and too many priorities paralyses.

When priorities demand too much, big problems arise.

Sometimes tragedy is what it takes

Too often, too late we learn what is really important.

It is often loss that is foundational to change.

 

You Can Be Different

(Here’s an abridged history of my last decade…)

When I finished school my parents gave me two choices:

1. Get a job (I’d never had a job before)

2. Go to university

There was also an unspoken judgement that came with the first option. Really I had no choice.

I knew I didn’t want to study the sciences like my siblings. I knew I needed to make money. But I also loved big picture ideas: religion, politics, philosophy, society and poetry. English Literature was my favourite and best subject at school.

I also recognised that if I got an Arts Degree then I would likely end up flipping burgers with a whole heap of debt.

Hence by default I ended up enrolling into Commerce: accounting and finance. I was good at math so it didn’t bother me but it was an apathetic decision at best.

In late 2013, my first year of university, I read the 4-Hour Work Week and started listening to Tim Ferriss’ podcast. Later that summer I worked on my Uncle’s farm, he gave me a stack of personal development CDs to listen to. Peter J. Daniels talked about entrepreneurship as a ticket to an extraordinary life. I knew I needed money and autonomy.

2014 second year university. Now I hated my accounting lectures – I didn’t like what they symbolised to me. I reasoned that if I ended up as boring as my accounting lecturer. Working in some highrise corporate day-job-of-doom. I may have ended up blowing my brains out or throwing myself off a balcony. To me at the time, corporate accounting was the epitomy of resigning myself to the “Default Life Path”.

All my heroes had followed the “Extraordinary Life Path”. I didn’t know where to start nor did I have the courage to try anything too radical.

In 2015 I started a freelance web-design business and got minimal traction for the next 3 years. I had the intention to start an info business, but never pulled the trigger. I was an over-thinker and struggled with imposter syndrome. I had no one to blame for my lack of success, and so I was confronted with all my personal shortcomings.

2018 – I go back to university and study teaching. This seemed like the “safe” move, and I thought it was best to follow in my father’s footsteps.

2019 – I work as a teacher and discovered what working long weeks with a 2+ hour per day commute felt like.

2020 – I planned to go on an adventure and teach over in the UK. Got my passport sorted. Covid hits. Stayed in Australia. Worked as a relief/substitute teacher. Then I went on a road trip with my brother and got a job offer out of the blue. With nothing to lose and the world in chaos I went all-in on the job. I started my role as a Marketing Manager and Sales Rep for a Water Treatment & Engineering company.

2021-2022. I worked my job, and started in the Wedding Business on the side as a musician, then photographer, then as a DJ/MC.

2023 – I left my job to pursue my entrepreneurial ambitions and grow my Wedding Business. I also started videography, consulting, coaching and building information products. Whatever it took to work for myself full-time.

2024 – The Wedding Business has continued to grow and thrive. Now I’m focusing more on content creation and my online business. I’ve also seen the value in writing (reconnecting with something I’ve always loved). I have the space and capacity to produce and publish a body of work, my life’s work, and genuinely help people at scale.

“You’re only ever 3 months away from your life looking completely different.”

In the last few years I’ve given this same little piece of advice to others and myself.

In 3 months you can:

• Leave your current job, start a new job, leave that job, then started another new job
• Lose 10 kgs of weight
• Get fit
• Learn a new instrument
• Start a new relationship
• Live in a new city

A lot can change in 3 months, for me, this fills me with hope. Things might not be better today, tomorrow or even in a few weeks from now. But you can effect significant change in your life in a few short months. Decisions can compound fast.

I may have to go back and get a job one day… But for now I’m happy DJing weddings, and being on this path of an aspiring Writer, Podcaster, Marketer. I create content, classes, programs and share my insights and perspectives.

It’s not the entrepreneurial pursuits that make me feel like I’ve escaped the matrix. It’s having the freedom and autonomy to work towards what I find meaningful. Like writing this article… I see this as part of the body of work that will be my life’s work. I get to create content I’m proud of, and then in publishing it – find meaning.

Who you are matters in life, and so does what you do.

Your life is a symbol of what you believe.

To elaborate, if there is a discrepancy between:

What you claim to believe, and

What your life looks like, then

Perhaps it’s worth evaluating what you actually believe.

We should focus on actions not destinations. Be under no illusions – what you do (and don’t do) is not separate from who you are.

It’s Going To Be Hard, Harder Than You Think

“Routine in an intelligent man is a sign of ambition.”
– W.H. Auden

You may have heard it said: you leave your 9-5 job to work 24/7 for yourself. Either way you’ll be a slave to a routine.

One of the hardest decisions I ever made was resigning from my job at the end of 2022.

Shortly after, at the beginning of 2023, I went through a rough break-up and business break-down. My life almost went into a tail spin. I lost friends, had people slander me and lost my income.

I distinctly remember praying to God, not just for help, but to help me understand the why behind it all.

Looking back though, had things been easier for me, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons. I wouldn’t have the resolve I do now.

Loss is foundational to change.

Anything you haven’t yet corrected in yourself – life will inevitably correct for you. Ignorance has a hefty price tag.

Self-awareness is a start. And it’s usually followed by self-loathing.

From there you can either lower your expectations and embrace the “Default Life Path”. You may even try attempt to plug yourself back into the matrix and forget what you now know.

But the ultimate is this: you embrace the depression that comes from awareness. Then from that place of pain and regret, start to make the necessary changes in yourself and your life.

When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

 

We All Need A Guide, We All Need Community

“Affirmation at a critical time can change someone forever.”

– Robert Fergusson

One of the chief reasons I feel lucky, like I won the lottery in life, is because of the people I have around me.

The reason I didn’t go into a full tail spin at the start of 2023 is because I had parents, siblings and a handful of key friends that were there for me.

I’m not sure unconditional love exists in this world, but my immediate family is the closest I’ll ever come to finding it.

People frown upon dependance and elevate independence. This is understandable. I also think it’s delusional to think you don’t need other people. Relationships are all we really have, they are the true currency of life. The beauty of it all, is that we do need each other.

Like God, humans can create something from nothing. One of the most powerful avenues for this is in relationships. When we help or serve someone else, we create value.

This is the foundation of the Creator Economy. But that’s another story.

If you want to escape the matrix, you need a support network. You need people to encourage you. Friends who have done it. Mentors who can guide you and show you what is possible.

In the Water Treatment business I was mentored by a highly successful CEO. We drove across Western Australia together and I learned so much from him about business, people and life.

In the Wedding Business my colleagues filled up my calendar with jobs. Lended me equipment and help me find my feet in the industry.

In the online business sphere, I’ve met other entrepreneurs and have mentors who help show me the way.

There is humility in having mentors and a community – it helps you recognise that you can’t do this on your own. You haven’t got it all figured out. But more than that, it’s about having people in your corner. People that will help you to go further faster, and achieve more than you thought possible.

Who knows where you’ll be in another 3 months from now?

When We Accept The Truth, We Find Meaning

It all starts with giving yourself permission. To have a go, to try and to succeed, to try and to fail. Who are these people – that we would let there opinions of us stop us from shooting our shot?

No one is inspired by somebody who conforms. You and I, we are inspired by people who are unashamedly themselves. People that are wiling to go against the status quo. What could the better version of you look like? Who could you be and become? What might you do?

If you are miserable in your “career” then make a plan to change it and start chipping away. Study the new skill, start the new business, and take the risk. If you are miserable in your relationships or health, start moving the chess pieces.

Decisions create momentum, and better decisions lead to fewer regrets.

Try a dopamine detox, go on a road trip, take a hike by yourself, do some journaling – get some clarity.

Here’s the caveat…

Escaping the matrix you’re enslaved to might expose you to a new reality you can never come back from. Brace yourself. Once you have an awareness of something it can be impossible to become unaware of it.

From awareness you’ll go one of two ways:

1. You’ll either spiral up and life will improve.

2. You free fall into a pit of depression.

If you don’t change – the dissonance between where you are and where you want to be will eat away at you.

Build Your Dream, Or Build Someone Else’s

“Regrets are irrecoverable moments”
– Robert Fergusson

I don’t hate jobs…

If you work a job, and your vision fits within that of your employer, then you’re in the green.

If you work a job, and your work tasks function as an outworking of your dream, then you’re in the green.

If you work a job, be mindful that you’re building someone else’s dream and are trading your life for it.

Furthermore it is normal and you should expect that:

• no one will come in to bat for you
• no one will take your burdens on as their own
• no one is coming to save you

That is the blunt truth. If you want to take an entrepreneurial leap, only you can do it.

Also, have the foresight to see that the middle class is on its way out. Over time the cost of living and the relative cost of housing vs wages will ensure it.

Your life will change when you change it. If you’re lost, you’ll have a dream only once you face reality and gain clarity.

Ambition will pull you out of apathy and be your impetus for generating effective change.

As for me, call it delusions of grandeur or an insatiable desire for autonomy… My ambition leads me to stacking up evidence, so I can prove to myself that I am who I say that I am.

So for now I will slap on the title “Aspiring” in front of “Writer, Podcaster, Marketer”. But mark my words – give me 3 months and I’ll have accumulated enough evidence to be the real deal.

Here’s some sauce;

Unplugging from the matrix is seeing the world as it is, not for what you want to be.

Escaping the matrix is:

• Getting clarity on your vision, mission and dream.
• Building your dream, not someone else’s.
• Having the courage to live an extraordinary life.
• The decision to be ambitious.
• Focusing on action and taking accountability for your life.
• Making the entrepreneurial leap.
• Pursuing that which is meaningful.

If you can find contentment in the process rather than the destination – then you’ll have peace in the storm.

Don’t pretend that there is no storm.

Don’t wait for it to pass before you allow yourself to be happy and smell the roses.

Life is too short.

How healthy is your outlook – would you agree that life is a gift?

Are you lucky?

Here’s Your Ticket Out

I don’t know where you’re at or what you’re going through.

…I do know that you read this far.

Which means that this has resonated with you.

Unplugging from the matrix is step one. Gaining clarity, escaping and walking the path, that’s step two.

If you aspire to the “Extraordinary Life Path” recognise that it will be lonely, even offensive to most.

Your brand is what you do. It’s your actions that will define you.

If you want guidance, community and support. I can help, we’ll figure this thing out together.

To your freedom and success,

– Curtis Butcher

P.S. If you enjoyed this article, then you’ll love the next one in this series – however I haven’t released it yet …but if you subscribe to my Newsletter you can gain early access.

P.P.S. If you are want to make your mark in the Creator Economy and grow your influence then checkout my flagship program.